Mystic Toad Press Blog

America’s fixation (I guess the world too) on celebrity kind of makes me ill. Don’t get me wrong I stare just like everyone else when I see Britney’s shaved head or how Madonna and Guy are breaking up or how brad and Angie are having like their fiftieth baby in the grocery line. But I’m not the kind of guy that would ever spend longer than that thinking about it. If I put myself in their shoes I imagine how insanely ridiculous it must feel to secretly enjoy it, and they do, all people would, but easily hate how anything you do or any mistakes you might make are snapped and shot away to hit the newsstands the next day. Those poor photographers with long lenses getting paid to take shots of stars on the beach to sell to the highest bidder. I would totally take the job, since I don’t really have one currently, but all the same I would definitely feel like I was cheating myself to a non creative medium, maybe I wouldn’t take the job, I’m pretty stubborn when it comes to my standards and ethics. I’m sure all those guys that run around chasing stars take real photos at night or would they have time? Doubt it, I guess I would do it to put myself through school, and really find something to contribute to this world and society of ours.

Well, there’s no accounting for silliness, I suppose, but sometimes the Art of Stating The Bleedin’ Obvious sheer takes my breath away…

Local harbour; dateline: today, of course. Shooting away with the camera, some guy comes over to me and says: “What are you taking pictures of?”. Well, for a moment I was sorely tempted to explain that if he followed the imaginary trajectory line of my camera lens, using his focal abilities (also known as “his eyes”) he would surely come to some sort of educated guess. Notwithstanding the fact that there was about 300 square miles of mudflats in front of us, with nothing else to be seen, a blind man could have come to a pretty good conclusion of what I was ‘taking pictures of’

But no. I resisted. I blustered something about ’shapes, patterns, colours’ and he seemed to understand, because he nodded wisely, before heading back to his car. Can’t believe I told him that, because it seemed a ridiculous statement, as mudflats have no colour, no shape, and no pattern. But there ya go…

But wait…there’s more…

As he got into his car, he said “I don’t suppose the Dutch ship will sail in this (foggy) weather, will it?”

I bit my lip and was trying my best not to say “They are wonderful things, ships; they carry radar and electronics that detect other craft, and they sail at NIGHT in complete DARKNESS, so why the Hell can’t they sail in fog?”

But no. Again I resisted; instead I simply pointed to the Dutch ship as it passed, just within sighting distance, and said: “There she goes now”

He smiled, turned to go, once again, then hesitated…

“Have you ever thought about getting a digital camera?” he asked, pointing at my Canon 20D. At this point, I slipped away, fearing I would deck him, if he asked another stupid question. Good thing the tide was out, or I’d have probably thrown myself off the pier. But hey, the Canon IS a digital camera, but we don’t want EVERY idiot to know that, do we? Wouldn’t be much fun if everyone asked intelligent questions now, would it? Have fun.

Eric Hartwell is an enthusiastic photographer. He owns and runs the photography resource site http://www.theshutter.co.uk and the associated discussion forums http://www.theshutter.co.uk/forums as well as the regular weblog at http://thephotographysite.blogspot.com Anyone interested in getting involved contact him at shutter@theshutter.co.uk